Soupy Sales

i made some veggie soup for us.  mega-veggie.

all organic veggies:  corn, peas, green beans, carrots, celery, cabbage, mushrooms, garlic, 100% pure olive oil, chicken bone broth, various spices.  oh, and little chicken (stupid protein!).  i usually put (sister christian is playing on the radio right now.  just thought you'd like to know.) garbanzo beans, too, but i was out. i added a little ACV to give it a little tartness.

yum!

i took a pic of the back stove, on purpose.  as i was cooking, i got entranced in the trinkets i seem to harbor.

starting from the left: 

ceramic mushroom:  i've had it for more years than i can even recall and it used to be your grandma O's.  i have some thoughts about it that, when you're old enough, we'll discuss.  regardless, i've always had a thing for mushrooms.  i like them in my food, i like to hunt for morels with my dad on my grandpas property in MI, and i have a painting of them from college that i painted (while tipsy), one night.  ;)

a ceramic rooster and little chick at its feet:  your great grandmother W sent that to me for my birthday, circa '98.  we had just moved to CA and it made no sense to me.  haha.  i called your grandma O and talked to her about it.  i didnt have an affinity for chickens, ceramic trinkets, nothing...  in fact, i hated trinkets.  clutter.  grandma O told me that she was eccentric and to just appreciate the fact that she loved me enough to think of me and send me a gift.  i suddenly felt like a brat.  when i called my gram to thank her, she said that it reminded her of me and my father (the rooster and the chick - get it?).  i, so graciously, giggled inside, and knew that i would keep and cherish it forever.  it was so sweet and endearing, how could i be such a brat.  something about her was that, she always gave quirky gifts, but when you would speak with her about them, you understood her point of view.  from that point forward, i never questioned ANY gift.  i appreciated the fact that the person took even one single second to think about me.  period.

oyster shells:  those are two oyster shells: the big one was my nephews.  i flew him to san diego for his graduation present, last summer, to stay with us and i fed him oysters for the first time.  very surprisingly, he enjoyed them!  i bought him surf lessons and an incredibly nice dinner on the beach.  it was such a nice time.  he doesnt know i kept it.  =)  you'll learn that your dad and i have a love and tradition for eating oysters and drinking martinis with blue cheese olives.  before i was pregnant with you, we found a phenomenal oyster bar here.  once you get here, i'll be able to eat seafood and have a martini!  so, once again, hurry up!  ;)  (the small oyster shell is mine from here.  our new-found spot.)

nephew (soon to be your 1st cousin!) in action.

the honey miel:  just a cute little honey container that i bought after researching and learning so much about bees while in san diego.  they're such amazing and necessary creatures that for which i have so much respect.  i even try to buy honey that is produced by small farmers or even just sole honey makers.  the big companies over work them and exploit the hell out of them, so i keep it local and ethical.  and always, raw and organic.  when i was a little girl, i had two uncles that raised bees and they would give me the honey comb to eat.  it was pure heaven.  i loved staying with them so much because they were both so interesting and love, love, loved me.  i would always have a small ball of beeswax to take home from sucking out all the honey.  i would save them for some odd reason.  i have a few weird ways about me.  haha.  i used to save my gum, too.  i had a small ceramic kitten that was on its back, legs and paws out to hold your chewed gum.  ug.  so gross.  haha.  i would keep the stupid gum for a few days on that thing and then roll it in sugar to get the "flavor" back.  i was 7.  dont judge me.

two "god" magnets - one on each side of the clock:  the left one is a tribal man that represents honor and loyalty.  the right one (not pictured) is a sun god.  they were handmade out of terracotta by a hippie lady in ocean beach, ca.  i bought them at the farmers market that i shopped every wednesday.

My little "B-boy"

and here you are!  i finally got to see you today!  the title indicates "how" i saw you today.  i have no idea your sex and wont know until wk 20, but you were on your head, today, doing a headspin - hence, b-boy.  my little breaker.  ;)  the little life that i have been carefully helping to craft through good diet, exercise (when i'm not tired!), and lots of laughs.  i'm doing my absolute best to ensure your pure health, nourishment, and growth.

key words for you are:

* hydration - i purchased a water filter that filters out chemicals and fluoride.  it was a little pricey, up front, but you're worth it.  i've become a complete water snob and only drink my own water.

i love this thing.  total snob! 

 

* organic - i try my darndest to buy only organic fruits and veggies.  i'm very strict on it.  the only time we dont get organic is through delivery or if we go out.  its nearly impossible to eat well if we do either of these two.

* grass-fed/pasture raised - we buy all gf meats, cheeses, butter, and dairy.  NO CORN fed.  corn is not only GMO (controversial, but i have my own deep thoughts & intuition), but converts to sugar.  sugar = GMO = fat = diabetes.  you (or me) will never develop diabetes as long as my life is in my own hands.  its up to me and my diet, and i know it.  cows should eat delicious grass and graze freely in the sunshine.  i've always shyed away from meat, as a whole (i was a vegetarian before i met your dad), because i love, love, love animals and hate the idea of chewing on them (ug), BUT the research seems to point to a slight need for healthy development (especially for the unborn), not because we've always needed it, but because we've EVOLVED to needing it.  that's what happens when people do the same things, over and over...  it becomes part of our DNA and we end up requiring what we never required before.  this is a tough one...  i struggle with it.  my indian background agrees, wholeheartedly, with ethically treated animals (good food, sunshine, and love) that when killed to give YOU life, must be adored and worshiped.  we must be damned thankful.  and i am.  but, a small piece of me feels guilt, also.  your dad says vegetarians are horribly unhealthy and birth problematic babies.  all of my own research is scattered, but i feel in my heart to eat plant-based with a little of everything else and be good with it.  thats what my blood type says to eat, too.  plant-based.  i have a rare blood type - 6% of the population.  i would give blood, but my veins always burst.

oh, and very particular eggs - hens that eat worms, etc.  no grains or corn.  the eggs i buy are expensive.  the most expensive thing i buy, really.  i cut corners, in other areas, to be able to afford high quality, important items.   buy in bulk, buy frozen, buy on sale, etc.  ive learned the art of balance.

* exercise - i could always use more cardio, but i lift weights, primarily.  overhead press, dead lift, bench press, and squat.  i'm in the hundreds with all but the overhead.  yuck!  that one is hard.  im pushing 200 for squat...  i did 180 x 5 last week, so i think, technically, i'm over, but whatever.  i lift for strength, not beach muscles, so i do high weight, low reps (beach muscles are low weight, high reps - no strength).  i do at least two to three miles of cardio each session.  very surprisingly, the weight lifting revs your heart.  i have never liked doing too much cardio because i know endurance runners rack up a lot of health issues, later on.  your grandpa C used to run and had to have knee replacements because of it.  it also enlarges the heart, is very rough on your joints, etc., etc.  many people run for the need of it, not because its healthy.  which, some think, is just as unhealthy.  i, personally, dont care.  to each their own.  im a sprinter and have always felt thats where my body feels most comfortable.  i used to run five miles or more a day and it made me a slow poke, so i stick to a little more median of a run and do more weights.  so, i like to weight lift, sprint, and run hills outside where ever i can.  i miss boxing a lot.  and i would love to learn judo and muay thai.  i like to sing, too.  exercise of the vocal cords!  it counts!  and we ride bikes.  our new mountain bikes. we havent hit the slopes yet, this year.  a shame, really.  REALLY. 

* sleep - this is where i lack!  i love sleep - LOVE - but, i barely do it.  i am such a night owl and then get up for work and never nap.  i average 5-6 hours of sleep during the week.  i'm pregnant.  its awful.  i make up for it on the weekends, but i need consistency.  easier said than done.  i've always stayed up later than the rest of the world.  i like the nighttime.  its quiet, mysterious, and when i peak.  when i get up early, i do have to say that, i love the mornings.  one summer, when i was home between college, i had to work at 5am and the mornings were so incredibly peaceful.  i grew up on a lake, so the water was like glass and the ducks and birds were phenomenally entertaining.  could i give you that kind of life, i will.  it was fun, peaceful, and connected me to nature on a deep level.  plus, i had a dad that liked toys.  speed boats, snow mobiles, etc.  for a child, its beyond healthy.  you'll enjoy staying with your grandpa W.  he'll take you on boat rides and different adventures.  he's overjoyed about you and said he thinks of you and prays for us every day.  =)

* laughs! - this one is easy.  your father is a stitch, as your grandma C would say.  that means funny.  he has always made me laugh, which, if you know me, isnt too hard - i'm a very light spirit and find much joy in life - but, your dad is on a different level.  i giggle always.  he's silly, and smart, and witty...  we have a wonderful chemistry which comes through in joy and laughs.  and your family is fantastic.  grandma C is one of the biggest hearts in life and always smooths out my moods.  "okay, we're going to hang up, you'll pour a glass of wine, get off your feet, and call it a day!"  she knows exactly how much to give and take.  grandma O will love and snuggle you like she did me, always.  you can actually FEEL her love.  its like no other.  point is, we're balanced.  we have fantastic love and support which only contributes to a healthy life.  you have two sides of a family, both are more than just "cool" or "sporty" or "educated"...  they exude love.  it will strengthen you.

* belly rubs - i give them to you often.  from me, from your grandparents, from friends...  giving you good vibes!

* * *

upside down baby, doing a head spin!  if you squint, it sort of focuses.  the nurse had a hell of a time pinning down a good pic because you're so active!

moms celebration drink.  mmm.

170 Beats Per Minute

You're a hummingbird!

 

we heard your heartbeat, for the first time, today, and i could NOT be happier!  its impossible.  i feel so happy and want to cry for joy and just go home to your dad, but i cant!  i have to keep it together, like the business professional that i am, and get back to work.  (ug!)  celebrations later.  i'm a FIRM believer in there being a time and place for everything. 

anyway, they used a fetal Doppler monitor, pushed around a little, and your sweet and perfect heartbeat was right there, loud and clear.  and so fast!  hence the hummingbird reference (and a little reference for your grandma O that loves that bird - she even has a small tattoo) but, then you moved a little and we lost you!  which was perfectly fine!  move around all you want, just stay with us!

i am completely in love with the midwives.  our main nurse was beyond her obvious young years (young, professional, nose ring, and a natural beauty with a wonderful heart), addressing my every concern, not just with clinical answers, but true compassion behind them.  she wasnt afraid to lightly touch my shoulder or hand or knee to let me know that she cared and it made a world of difference.  i have fear and light anxiety, right now, and she made me comfortable.  the road here has been difficult, so when i say you're a blessing to us, its exactly the case.  i dont mean in the spiritual sense, but that you're a gift to us that will bring bountiful happiness. 


i read my own palm one day (not that i believe in that, but i tinker with the randoms of life) and it showed that i would have three children.  this was before i was ever pregnant and it freaked me out because i've only ever wanted just one child.  should you make your way to us, it will have proved true.  and what is even more magnificent to me is, three has always been my favorite number.
 
a mathematician would call you a good statistic.  i call you the miracle of life.

when i got back to my office, ripple by the grateful dead was on the radio (which is a beautiful haiku!).  i've never heard it on the radio.  its one of my favorite dead songs of all time.  i'm not a deadhead, but i have always appreciated the love and connections that i made thanks to jerry and his folks.  i have friends that are hardcore deadheads.  my childhood friend followed them, literally, for years.  bummed around and had a blast.  i have another friend that i think they may be the only band he likes.  haha.  he paints and is very artistic and has drawn lots of "dead" related stuff.  anyway, once you get to know me, you'll learn that i have my hand in a little bit of everything.  THAT is what makes up me, your mother.  i'm not one dimensional, by any means.  my musical choices reflect this.  i'm an appreciator of life and its goods.  not just one genre or walk of life.  i would like to teach you this quality.  it will help you accept all elements of life and appreciate a little bit of everything.  it will help make your life full.

i notified everyone, in this order, of your proof of life today:  father, grandma O, grandma and grandpa C, and auntie.  i'll call your grandpa W later tonight since he doesnt text.

now, hurry up and get here!  ;)


xo

It's Monday, I'm in Love

hi.

nothing today.

goodbye, my sweet.


love you,
xo

~ Post Script ~

Dancing in the warm womb of your mothers chateau,
Tenderly, she whispers sonnets, and hymns, and quips.
For You are the divinity in which never have I been annexed.
It is you of whom I have enveloped my deep love and nexus, 
Years, months, days, hours, minutes, and seconds I have prepared.

All, just for you.

And, you're here.  With me.  Soon to be, with Us.


(daily pregnancy tea with nothing in it today.  pure and simple.)

Valentines Day Cash-In

i talked to your grandma c, yesterday.  they are, apparently, renting a place out here for a few months starting around autumn!  that will be amazing since we planned on them MOVING here with us...  lifes plans constantly change.  but, they are both so excited about you.  everyone that knows is.  they're retired, so its much easier for them to be so mobile.  i'm out of my mind worried about your childcare and wish they could stay and care for you during your few vital years.  it KILLS me that i cant stay home with you for a year or two, but "it is what it is," as they say.  i, basically, have to work to make money for your childcare.  i'm not thrilled.  i dont want one other person raising you other than your father or me.  but, we're not in a position for anything else.  no family here with us and one income isnt enough for how we enjoy living.  but, we'll do what we have to do and we'll cherish every single moment that we can.  i guess i never thought about NOT raising my own child.  reality hits hard.

anyway, for valentines day, your grandma c sent us a gift certificate for ruths chris.  i told you she never skips a beat.  yum!  date night!  =) 




xo

Year of the Sheep/Goat

 


Happy Chinese New Year, my Little One!  I couldn't be happier of the said traditions into which you will be born.  And I am, and have always been, completely head over heels for sheep.  I LOVE THEM.  And goats.  They're hilarious.  Your dad and I went to the San Diego Fair, a few years ago, and I was completely drawn to this cute, little sheep named RuPaul.  He just seemed sort of down-and-out, sitting in his hay, not doing much...  I knelt down to pet his sweet face and he barely moved.  I just kept stroking his soft chin, cheeks, top of head, when he, eventually, lifted his head and gazed into my eyes.  I smiled at him to let him know how sweet I thought he was and that everything is okay with me there.  I'm not a wild little kid, yelling in his face or petting him with reckless abandon, but rather, a gentle soul, seeing more into him and enjoying every little stroke I gave.  He, very slowly, stood up and pushed his head towards me.  The lady that owned him noticed him stand and said to me, "Oh, wow.  That's the first movement that I've seen him have all day.  He really likes you."  I was connected to him.  He was so sweet - I wanted to take him home!  But, then, she told me that he was going to the local butcher, over the weekend, because he was older and that's the process of their life.  What?  I felt crushed.  RuPaul would be gyro meat next week.  My heart broke and tears welled up like the sea.  The cycle of life is what it is and we have to accept its process, no matter how difficult.  I'll never forget the feelings that he gave me, that day.  Sweet and pure.

Anyway - here is what "they" say about this Chinese Year:

The year 2015 is going to be an exciting year – more specifically to individuals who fall under The Year of the Sheep – it is THEIR year! In accordance to the Chinese calendar and meaning, the Year of the Sheep 2015 dates starts from February 19 2015 up to February 7 2016. The 2015 Year of the Sheep falls under the element of Wood.  (Both of us are wood element, too.  =)  We are year of Tiger and element Wood...  Oh, how funny...  I just realized the name of the golfer - Tiger Woods.  haha.)

Under the influence of the element Wood, the sheep is a witty individual who is very thoughtful and is mindful to other’s wishing. He is generous, sentimental and has high moral in life. He completely trusts those people who inspire him.

Lucky colors for someone who is born under The Year Of The Sheep are red, green and purple. 

Their lucky flowers are carnation and primrose. 

The auspicious directions for those who are born under the Year of the Sheep are South, East and Southeast.

More about The Sheep’s Profile:

As mentioned, the Year 2015 is the Year of the Sheep which belongs to the element of the Wood. The Sheep is the eight sign in the Chinese calendar which make it seems to be a good aspect since the number “8” is a lucky number according to the Chinese beliefs. The number is also believed to attributes prosperity and peace.

People who are born under the Year of the Sheep commonly belong to a lower or middle-class family. Although the Sheep may not be a member to an upper-class part of the society, he knows how to adjust when he is with the elites. He does not discriminate other’s weaknesses and he helps whenever he can. As a matter of fact, it is the Sheep’s happiness to make other people happy.

A Sheep is a natural humanitarian yet he is not too attached to pets.

The Sheep’s Strengths:

Sheep’s are intellectual individuals who always have clever ideas about certain things. They cautiously and circumspectly cope up with sensitive business matters. These individuals do not usually plan about their future but they can intelligently cope up with the flow of their lives whether good or bad things happen. They are emotionally strong and are physically fit. Most women Sheep are into outdoor activities while the male ones tend to focus their energy on their jobs or business.

The Sheep’s Weaknesses:

Sheep’s are over-anxious people. They worry about almost everything. At some point of their lives, they become pessimistic. They’re oversensitive, moody and are puzzled about life. They are not usually open about their emotions. They usually out-of-the-earth theories which are usually overlooked by their colleague as obscenity.

Positive and Negative Traits about Sheep’s:
Sheep’s are very artistic, whimsy and are loyal. With their very artistic minds, it is not surprising that sheep’s are into beauty, whether it is about things or places. For them, living in balance is being in a peaceful and harmonious environment. They are great craftsmen. Sheep’s are not materialistic although they are big time spenders who usually spend their monies on foods and for things that comforts them. When a sheep is upset, he would rather bottle up his emotions and not talk to the person that he is mad at. This kind of behavior has a large negative on his relationship’s futures. Time will come that he’ll vent out all his negative emotions and, chances are, he may throw those negativities to a person who is not related to the issues. The Sheep can also be needy and mutually clingy. 
The Sheep’s Perfect Match:

The sheep should be around with a person whom he can always lean on. Someone who understands his mood swings and the kind of life that he wanted to live. The best matches for a Sheep are individuals who were born in the Year of The Rabbit, The Year of The Horse or The Year of The Pig.

The Sheep as A Friend:

Sheep’s make great friends. They never will and never intend to hurt their friends. They are trustworthy and they can keep secrets.

The Sheep When It Comes to Religions:

The sheep is usually religious and he tends to become so attached to whatever his religion is. If you disagree with his beliefs, it may lead to arguments. They believe in occultism and they usually read horoscopes.

Famous People Who Are Born In The Year Of The Sheep:

Mark Twain, Muhammad Ali, Barbara Walters, Nicole Kidman, Amy Lee, Clair Dianes, Judy Davis, Kate Hudson, Veronica Lake, Jamie Foxx, Brandy and Julia Roberts

(We shall see how you turn out! )


I would love to make this...  I'm pretty crafty...  perhaps, I'll try...
 




If I knew someone that worked with wood (your element!), I would have them make this for you:




so cute




you're, already, my superhero
 


 * * *

breakfast:  steel cut oatmeal, quinoa, organic cherries and blueberries, cinnamon, raw honey
morning tea
lunch:  grilled steak and veggies, rice pilaf, hummus, salad of cucumbers and tomatoes.  a little pita.
dinner:  no idea!  ug.  maybe that sandwich that i absolutely couldnt eat, last night?  probably.  FOOD AVERSIONS!

The Adventures of A Babbly Adventure Mom!

you have been on such a wild little adventure, already!  one of your first big meals was steak and lobster!  im such a good mom.  haha.  yum!  and we went to see our friend sing (better than janice joplin, i swear) and had a lovely dinner.  your first concert.  ;)

in january, your dad took us to see a sludge metal band here in denver.  it was a two man band and they were pretty ridiculous for just the two of them.  i got a sticker, of course.  your mom likes stickers.  i have three, old, wooden suitcases with various things in them that i tattoo with stickers.  the biggest one harbors all of my blank cards and cards given to both of us through the years (we have so many...  we are very loved, apparently), the medium one holds all of your fathers and my cards and various trinkets given through our 17 year journey (your dad used to write love letters to me...  the sweetness of courting...), and the smallest one is nothing but cards and letters from your late great grandmother.  she loved to write letters to me.  its absolutely insane how much i didnt realize how much she wrote to me until i compiled all of her letters for this suit case.  she passed away early last year - 2014.  she was my last living grand parent, and my closest.  i told her things that i never told anyone.  nothing odd - i just trusted her.  she was like a best friend and i miss her dearly.  anyway, i havent put any stickers on her case, yet.  she will get things that remind me of her.  sweet things, like flowers, which she planted every single year in her garden; cats, which she always had one or two; and whatever else.

in february, we went to our very first UFC.  you'll soon see that mixed martial arts is a staple in our home.  your father and i have seen every single UFC since its inception in 1993.  you will be athletic, no doubt.  your dad boxes - could have gone pro and, very well, still may (for a fight or 5), played football in college - strong safety - and wanted to go pro until he hurt his knee, learned Brazilian jiu-jitsu with one of the elite trainers in the world - master fabio santos, 7th degree black/coral belt who learned from helio gracie in Brazil and then trained with various Gracies until he got to the US and opened his own place (got his black belt from rickson, my favorite gracie), and now he powerlifts.  that one kind of came unexpectedly due to a knee injury.  it's funny how things work out.  sometimes, as one door closes violently, another one opens quietly.  ~ ~ ~ as for me, i grew up playing sports and dancing.  i was in jazz, tap, ballet, and gymnastics when very young, then switched over to basketball and track in third grade and played those two from then all the way through high school.  i was captain of the basketball and track teams (track was my first love) and i wanted to try something different in 9th grade and played softball and tried cheerleading...  ug.  for cheerleading, i ended up getting bumped up to JV instead of being on the freshman team and the varsity girls were pushing for me to be on their team.  not my cup of tea, i learned...  these girls were bleach blonde, fake tans, and way too much "spirit" than i could tolerate.  i'm already teaching you to judge, haha.  i was listening to depeche mode and the cure and they wanted to rock out to marky mark and whoever else was popular at the time.  i didnt fit.  that's really the point.  not judging, as much.  they were nice.  just...  not me.  i could have been good at softball, but just wasnt feeling that, either.  i went back to my faves the next year.  i was a phenomenal runner and won all kinds of medals.  i thought about running in college, but i just really didnt have the prep for it.  my hs coaches were awful and were having me run five miles a day, in addition to various "training".  i was a sprinter, not an endurance athlete.  it made me slower.  once i figured this out through reading books, i started to rebel and piss off the coaches by doing my own thing.  one of them, finally, understood what i was talking about and worked with me to make me faster, not slower.  i was inches away from breaking our quarter mile record, but sustained a pretty bad injury my junior year and lost a lot of ground.  oh well!  i was lazy in college, but your dad got me into boxing and i loved it!  we sort of abandoned it after his knee injury, so i've been power lifting along with him.

you have very strong parents, at this point in life!  =)  especially your dad.

anyway -

in march, i plan to take you to a stevie wonder concert here in denver.  =)  we'll do something special every month of your creation.  perhaps, skiiing???  snowboarding???  i'm itching...  vail?  breckenridge?  maybe just loveland???  winter will be over soon enough and i want to get out on the mountain.  your dad was sick for vail, a few wks ago, so we have time to make up!

you've been pretty quiet, overall.  i'm just really tired, quite often.  no real sickness.  i feel light nausea, here and there.  please, be safe and continue growing.  i pray.

xo,
mom


* breakfast:  oats, toasted coconut, almonds, raisins,  hot chocolate
* lunch:  protein shake w/ whole greek yogurt, chia seeds, greens scoop, blue and strawberries.
* dinner:  who the hell knows.  we'll see if i can even eat.  its like that...  and thats the way it is.