RIP, SC. 5/05/1972-11/06/2012

i attended my co-workers funeral service, this morning.  SC took her own life on my birthday, 11/06/12.  she was a very reserved, proud, african american woman that worked for the pentagon, walked dogs on the side (and i found out, also, today, that she watched them for people, when out of town), was a LVN that cared for disabled children, loved to hike, knew a lot about plants, would recommend books to people, had a friend that flew in from flint, michigan, and lost both of her parents in close proximity of one another, this year.

not very many people, at all, were in attendance of her service.  i was somewhat shocked.  regardless, a woman that i couldnt figure out quite who she was, spoke.  her sister?  not sure.  and the things that she said were so wise and eloquent.  instead of focusing on the tragedy of her suicide, she spoke of love, memories, light, and forgiveness.  i was so happy to hear this because so many people judge the lost souls that take their lives.  i've noticed anger and resentment and casting of them to eternal hell...  for me, my first thought, always, is a thought of pure compassion and pain, in my own heart, of the loneliness someone must feel to leave in such a way.  and with so many questions...  that makes me feel worse than any act of selfishness ever would.  i dont know how the consequences of life work, but i genuinely hope that she finds the peace that she is desperately seeking.

~ * ~

My tears of pain are for you to seek solace in my compassion,

You can always call on me should you ever need a shoulder or a laugh,

The gift of life often leads us astray, but walk through the darkness into another day.

My hand you can hold, in my soul find light, no words to be spoken,

Peace may you find, and heal your heart which has broken.

~*~

In loving memory

Baby Chris

So, all that I know about this picture is that Chris is inside that belly of Jills.  =)  Auntie Susan and, per Julia, Grandpa?  I'm not sure, just yet, on the specifics, but I love that this picture came up while pregnant.  Jill nurturing a fetus, just like me.  ♥

Baby Book #1

so, i typed into google "harvard pediatricians" and this book popped up.  it had good reviews and was written by a pediatric physician in honor of his pregnant daughter and, also, doctor.  flipping through it has been informative, to say the least.  seeing the baby pictures through its stages is startling.  i'm still trying to mentally prepare for all of my body changes.  its a bit scary.  blessings to me for a healthy pregnancy.

5 Weeks, 4 Days

i'm so new at this pregnancy thing that i had my pregnancy weeks wrong!  haha.  i guess they calculate your weeks starting, not from conception, but rather around the time of your last cycle.  it doesnt make much sense to me, but i'm sure the doc will clue me in.

regardless, i'm five weeks and four days, today.

not one symptom of pregnancy..  i'm patiently waiting...  (I'VE HEARD THE HORROR STORIES!)

organogenesis:  the babies organs are starting to form and is a process that will continue for the next four weeks.   i'm abstaining from all toxins, including alcohol, caffeine, mercury laden fish (shrimp, crab, tuna, catfish, cod, clams, scallops), refined sugars/high fructose, non-organic dairy and meats, and artificial sweeteners.  this is all so easy for me since i eat so clean, anyway.  the alcohol is easy (i feel rested and great!), the sugars are easy since i dont eat them anyway, the artificial sweeteners are super easy since they cause cancer - easy!, BUT i miss the coffee and tea!!!  SOOOOO much.  =(  but, its for the best!

also, my body is producing the hormone hCG which causes an increase of blood flow to my pelvic area.  the efficiency of my kidneys has improved, helping my body rid itself of waste products more quickly.  and finally, placenta is growing in my uterus to establish the babies source of nutrients and oxygen and is exerting pressure on my bladder.  what does all this mean?  FREQUENT TRIPS TO THE RESTROOM!  my uterus will rise into my abdominal cavity in my second trimester, sooo... til then!  lots of short walks at work!

the baby is the size of a sweet pea, this week, but starting to bud arms and legs, similar to a gummy bear.  the heart is one of the first things to form and is starting to beat.  also taking shape are jaws, cheeks, a chin, nostrils, and ears, in addition to kidneys, liver, and lungs.

wow.  just when you think you  know it all...


 * * *

six glasses of water down, four to go!

breakfast - me and our baby ate oatmeal with a scoop of protein powder, blueberries, raspberries, two tbs of coconut oil, and a heart-healthy sprinkle of cinnamon.  =)

lunch - quinoa salad with beans and chicken.  i lacked on the veggies, today.  thank goodness for my multi-vitamin.

snacks - an apple and some grapes

dinner - not sure yet...  it should be a big salad with some lean protein.  =)

* * *

Comments

whoops!  i changed the comment settings so that anyone can comment.  it was set to gmail registered people, only.  now, anyone can comment, any time.  =)

First Appointments

i have my first appointments scheduled! 

around the second week of december i may have my first sonogram.  we'll see.  =)

now, just the waiting game while eating well, getting plenty of rest, and drinking lots of water! 


***
breakfast - steel cut oats, chopped apple, blueberries, and raspberries w/ a 1/2tsp of raw honey.
***

...tired...

its already beginning...  i'm more tired than usual.  i could have fallen asleep on my drive home from work, last night and i'm slightly sluggish, overall.  and perhaps its because of the process of so much activity.  talking to all of your friends and family can be downright exhausting.  especially, when your someone like me that is friendly and outgoing.  i've created a lot of kind acquaintances, through facebook and otherwise, that want to know everything.  haha.  but, i'm learning to pick and choose my relationships.  family first, then close friends, and i'll get to everyone else when i can.  =)

i felt so busy all day yesterday, so when i finally hit the couch at 10:30p, i was out, immediately.  those that know me, know that is insanely early for this night owl.

i walked about three miles for fear of lifting my usual weights.  i guess walking will be my usual routine, now.  i have to do some more research.  and i'm just waiting on my doctor to call me.  i chose a woman physician.  i hope that i like her.

tomorrow is friday and i have a three day weekend.  i cant wait to relax with my love.  ♥