so, i kind of struggle with what i say... i talk to you because this space is about them and you and our journey, and like i said before, it keeps me straight, honest, and pure. but, i follow current events. i am interested in whats going on in the world. and its not always good. so, me being interested in the world, politics, and having an investigative mind puts a strain on how i relate to you... i dont want to be negative or complain about the state of things, like i can be and do (usually to myself since your dad has not ONE interest in politics or what goes on outside of our own life... haha.). i kind of admire him for that since its nearly impossible for me. i have an activists heart. i mean, i almost went into the peace corps! when i was reading people say racist things and supporting the officers that KILLED this man in b-more, i lost it. the other night, i got really pissed that people were shooting out stats about "the black man has committed more murder than the white man" yada, yada. its shocking to me how racist people still remain and dont SEE the reasons that there is so much poverty in the cities, etc. they say, "forget it, there is NO excuse." except, there is. there is ALWAYS a reason. they simply blame the black man for their crimes and refuse to see the big picture. it seems so easy to do, but guess what? there is a WAY bigger picture. and our beloved politicians are usually right behind it. remember slavery? well, its had long, long, long term effects to communities. have you ever tried to make something of yourself out of nothing? its down right hard. not everyone can be MLK, as much as you want them to. it just doesnt work that way. we need to be realistic. if you want to throw out stats, lets see how many men of ALL races have died at the hands of the white man all through time. remember christopher columbus? he came and murdered indians and we now have a holiday to "celebrate" the carnage. how awful for the indians. a celebration of the massacre of their people... lovely.
now, poverty stricken people in cities are pushed to the brink of society, left to FIGHT their way through poverty, shitty schools, lack of education, etc. people seem to think that we're all the same. just work through it. get over it. "i came from nothing and look at me!" i guarantee if you "made it," you had help. not everyone is so lucky. if you cant find a job because of racial discrimination, no childcare for your little one, no money - how do you get ahead? you dont. so, people turn to crime to survive. the cycle is gut wrenching.
so, here is where i am. i freaked out the other day in front of your dad and he looked at me like i was a lunatic. but, i get really passionate when i know that people are wrong and being wronged. i want to protect them. i want to oust the evil, with everything inside of me... but, i've learned, this week, that i keep avoiding talking to people that are in staunch opposition to me because they freak out and just want to "shut me up"... so, i avoid it. today, after i settled all of the dust in my head from the events, i engaged in conversation with someone that is racist, doesnt understand the politics behind much of this, and is VERY narrow minded. it was peaceful. i was diplomatic and we, calmly, volleyed our ideas back and forth.
i've learned that i can be insanely passionate about something and still discuss, with diplomacy. some people cant be talked to, i get that... but, i guess you just feel out with whom you can have level headed discussions and healthy debate. and never debate with people that just have opinions, not facts! you'll never win. dont set yourself up for failure.
the six bmore cops are being criminally charged. as always, i pray for honest justice.
so, i wont shelter you from much. i wasnt sheltered. i saw it all. and perhaps, its my silver lining in the world of compassion.
xo
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