Cheers to Friends

you NEVER know when a friendship will come to fruition or you'll appreciate an old friend.  i had worked with a co-worker for a few years, and even though we had a great energy together, we werent "friends."  she got pregnant, worked in our office for awhile, had her baby, came back, and ended up leaving for a different opportunity.  that was around the time that i was looking into moving my family, for better opportunities, myself.  i talked, at great length, with my family and we decided to accepted the CO opportunity, for the benefit of us all.  maybe even get a house that isnt 100 million dollars like with coastal living.  dreams...  you have to fight for them.

before she left my company, she told me that she looked up to me for having the courage to make the significant changes that i did and it inspired her to look elsewhere for work.  she landed a lower-stress job with better hours.  i was moved that she had looked to me to make such a decision.  i do things to better my life and dont really think outside of that, so you dont really "judge" your own decisions, from the outside.  i guess looking at how i operate, as an adult, i'm pretty courageous.  far cry from my days as a young girl that was very timid, overall.  i didnt know my inner strength until later in life, but once i found it, i grew, exponentially.  i had a dream, when i was 25, that i could fly.  perhaps, that was me, moving into my next totem of my sign, the eagle (scorpion, eagle, dove).

anyway, the co-worker and i slowly got closer and i found out that she had a cool and loving vibe about her.  a cool cat.  i havent had the best luck finding good friends since everyone's drama seems to follow me, so she was a refreshing relief from what i've dealt with, in the last few years.  i appreciate her friendship!  sometimes they show up when you need them most.  she knows that i am cloth diapering, took notice, and sent me these!  i love them so much!!  i laugh with her about how funny it is that im finding diapers "cute" since they wont be so cute once in use.  haha.  she said she still loves them.  her little one just turned one and is still cruising around in them and she loves it.  good news.  ♥

i've dreamed about giving you the best life possible and only want the best for you.  cloth diapering will save hundreds of dollars, will biodegrade, and, most importantly, be healthiest for your skin.  i know i'm making the right decision, as every decision, from here on out, will include you and how to give you a happy, healthy, and functional life.  i pray to the universe for mercy, love, and support.  we all need it.
 

a cute dinosaur diaper bag

 

eat local?  love it.  someone that truly listens and knows me and, genuinely, cares.

and speaking of friends, even though this friend and i arent necessarily "close," she's still a funny and kind friend in my life.  she sent this msg to me...  again, at a needed time.  it made me cry.

may you find good people in your life to love you.  ♥

 

United Colors of Darlatton

so, i kind of struggle with what i say...  i talk to you because this space is about them and you and our journey, and like i said before, it keeps me straight, honest, and pure.  but, i follow current events.  i am interested in whats going on in the world.  and its not always good.  so, me being interested in the world, politics, and having an investigative mind puts a strain on how i relate to you...  i dont want to be negative or complain about the state of things, like i can be and do (usually to myself since your dad has not ONE interest in politics or what goes on outside of our own life...  haha.).  i kind of admire him for that since its nearly impossible for me.  i have an activists heart.  i mean, i almost went into the peace corps!  when i was reading people say racist things and supporting the officers that KILLED this man in b-more, i lost it.  the other night, i got really pissed that people were shooting out stats about "the black man has committed more murder than the white man" yada, yada.  its shocking to me how racist people still remain and dont SEE the reasons that there is so much poverty in the cities, etc.  they say, "forget it, there is NO excuse."  except, there is.  there is ALWAYS a reason.  they simply blame the black man for their crimes and refuse to see the big picture.  it seems so easy to do, but guess what?  there is a WAY bigger picture.  and our beloved politicians are usually right behind it.  remember slavery?  well, its had long, long, long term effects to communities.  have you ever tried to make something of yourself out of nothing?  its down right hard.  not everyone can be MLK, as much as you want them to.  it just doesnt work that way.  we need to be realistic.  if you want to throw out stats, lets see how many men of ALL races have died at the hands of the white man all through time.  remember christopher columbus?  he came and murdered indians and we now have a holiday to "celebrate" the carnage.  how awful for the indians.  a celebration of the massacre of their people...  lovely.

now, poverty stricken people in cities are pushed to the brink of society, left to FIGHT their way through poverty, shitty schools, lack of education, etc.  people seem to think that we're all the same.  just work through it.  get over it.  "i came from nothing and look at me!"  i guarantee if you "made it," you had help.  not everyone is so lucky.  if you cant find a job because of racial discrimination, no childcare for your little one, no money - how do you get ahead?  you dont.  so, people turn to crime to survive.  the cycle is gut wrenching. 

so, here is where i am.  i freaked out the other day in front of your dad and he looked at me like i was a lunatic.  but, i get really passionate when i know that people are wrong and being wronged.  i want to protect them.  i want to oust the evil, with everything inside of me...  but, i've learned, this week, that i keep avoiding talking to people that are in staunch opposition to me because they freak out and just want to "shut me up"...  so, i avoid it.  today, after i settled all of the dust in my head from the events, i engaged in conversation with someone that is racist, doesnt understand the politics behind much of this, and is VERY narrow minded.  it was peaceful.  i was diplomatic and we, calmly, volleyed our ideas back and forth. 

i've learned that i can be insanely passionate about something and still discuss, with diplomacy.  some people cant be talked to, i get that...  but, i guess you just feel out with whom you can have level headed discussions and healthy debate. and never debate with people that just have opinions, not facts!  you'll never win.  dont set yourself up for failure.

the six bmore cops are being criminally charged.  as always, i pray for honest justice. 

so, i wont shelter you from much.  i wasnt sheltered.  i saw it all.  and perhaps, its my silver lining in the world of compassion.

xo