Raspberry to Cherry

8 weeks, 2 days

we've graduated from raspberry status to cherry.  =)  and from embryo to fetus.  the eyes are formed, but the eyelids are fused shut over them, and will be until around 28 weeks.  our baby has small ears, nose, and lips, and the sex organs are formed, but looking much asexual, at this point.  around 12 wks will be when we can determine the sex.  i'm indifferent about the sex...  i'll be happy either way.  the only thing that i've really been overly worried about is that i keep reading that the older you are, the more of a chance of downs syndrome, the pregnancy not "sticking", etc...  i have my first appt this week - blood draws, etc. - then, i go for my first, full appt. next week.  i'm hoping to hear my babies heart beat, which at this point is around 150 beats per minute.  chris says, "like a humming bird!" the baby is starting to move more and its fingerprints are forming.

i've still had no sickness or hard symptoms.  i got nauseous, once, but it, quickly, passed.  i'm a tab bloated, it seems, toward the end of my work day, and i can feel changes happening.  i get shooting pains in my abdomen and light "pulls" from time to time.  my body is manufacturing placenta - our babies life support system, and my bodies metabolism and hormone levels have increased while my blood sugar and blood pressure have lowered.  they say that through all of this, i should be exhausted, but i'm not.  i'm only slightly tired and tend to fall asleep earlier than my usual 1am night owl time.  other than using the restroom frequently, thats about it, through my first trimester.  so far, so good!  i'm scared to gloat for fear of conjuring up any emotions from the symptom gods!  if anything, i'm more emotional about the process itself.  the act of childbirth itself, the safety, and the aftercare.  i've never wanted more than to be able to raise my own child.  and due to monetary constraints, it seems as though someone else will.  day care.  it horrifies me.  other women or men with my child, other children interacting with my child while i'm not there...  ug.  i've realized that i'm much more of a type A personality that i ever knew.  i suppose thats why i was so active at a young age.  president of this, vp of that...  i'm a control junkie.  but, the world we live in is governed by money, and we dont make enough to live off of one income.  i often dream of moving off the grid, building a green home near a lake or water source, having a garden, a shop to build things, and living in pure freedom and enjoying my family and life.  =)  yes, i'm a dreamer.

i'm worried more about all of this stuff than i will be the more pregnant that i become.  i can feel it.  i'm a worry wart about the unknown, but once our baby forms more, i can FEEL that my happiness will increase.  i, often, get overwhelmed with that happiness and fully break down and cry tears of love and joy!!!

names...  i'm contantly thinking.  its hard when you're trying to name for both boys and girls!!!

girls - fallon parker? 
boys - dominic valentino?

chris and i havent been agreeing on anything, yet.  haha.  he keeps yelling out names that everyone already has...  angelina, isabella...  all of the most popular names in the US.  our baby is unique!  and so should be the name.  ;)

we'll be able to wittle it down more once we know our babies sex.  SO EXCITED!!!


xoxoxo