Moon Matters

there are TWO full moons this month!  is that why i've felt as though its been one of the craziest months of my life?  who knows.  we've had a lot go on, my sweet little man.  a lot.  more than i'm willing to share and more than which i ever thought i would deal.  i'm desperately trying to live the best life possible and even more desperately trying to give you the world.  even in utero.  if i have a bad feeling, i pray.  if i feel negative energy, i meditate.  if my hormones are full swing and i get emotional, i try to channel it to something good.  but, i cant help other, outside forces.  other peoples feelings, other peoples thoughts and actions.  and people are trying to infiltrate me/us, right now.  i never, in a million years, thought that i would ever have to deal with a certain topic in my life.  but, its here.

the temptations are bountiful, the succubus kittens are out to play, and lion is too kind.

 

i'm going to tell you a lot of things in life, ryder, on how to become a true, resilient man.  but, a few MAIN things are:

be soft-hearted - to EVERYONE.  we're all on a journey of our own.  everyone is on a different path.  i was telling your dad, the other day, that maybe some people are wiser than others because they've lived more lives.  who knows.  dont judge.  just have an open heart and an open mind and treat people with respect.

looks dont matter - we live in the digital age where everyone stares at computers and photos and words with no human interaction.  dont fall victim to garbage that doesnt matter.  filters, editing, airbrush, new hair cut, hair dye, good angles, nice features, words with unknown feelings attached, words that could be misinterpreted, yada, yada, yada.  and then, the compliments fly, feeding our egos.  what matters?  who you are.  your spirit.  your soul.  are you a good person?  do act respectfully?  do you work on your standards more than your wardrobe, fancy new house, and shape of your beard?  you should.  its all about balance.  you CAN have it ALL.  look good AND feel good.  strike the balance while prioritizing the standard.

be loyal - no matter the cost.  never, EVER lie to those you love because it decimates trust, and no matter how honest you are, moving forward, the past will make people question your future integrity.  its a painful process for all parties at hand.  dont do it.  love people enough to show them you care, and love them hard.

BOUNDARIES.  BOUNDARIES.  BOUNDARIES.  i'll have them for you and i want you to create them for yourself.  always protect what you love and honor, deep in your heart.  at all costs.  is someone trying to shake your perfect life?  set boundaries with them.  let them know its not cool and you dont feel comfortable.  sometimes, all that it takes is light redirection to get people to move.  if they dont budge, make your standard known, loud and clear.  dont be a doormat because people will absolutely walk on you if you're "too nice".  too nice can equal people getting hurt.

be cool, not just nice.  its way more important.

i will make you a gentleman, if it kills me.  i have no tolerance for classless people in my circle of life.  its a choice and way of life, not where you came from.  you will treat people with love and respect.  you will not bother anyone in a relationship, you will not be disrespectful outside of your own, and you will honor your personal choices, all the way through, until you decide to terminate them, and not a minute before.  i want you to meet the most evil of temptations with a kind, loving manner and know exactly what to do, without question or compromise.  the reward?  a peaceful soul that YOU get to live with.  its a beautiful thing.


standards.  you will have them.  i've made mistakes, like we all have, but i will do my best to teach you what to do and what not to do.  i can honestly say that i dont feel as though ive made too many mistakes in my life, but the ones i have made, nip at my heels.  i dont want this for you.  it takes blood, sweat, and a lot of tears to reel back from things.  but, its always worth it to work hard to correct them.  and you'll have to.  be a learner, like me.  NEVER make the same mistake twice.  EVER.  for every mistake you may make, triple fold it into being the best you that ever could be.  its what i do, personally.  and if you lose anything or anyone, in the messy process, while it not "okay", its okay...  because as long as you know that you've done your absolute best, given 100%, and truly escaped a better person?  its good.  dont worry about anyone else.  you're all that matters, in the end.  its between you and the universe, at that point.  trust in the process.

always have strong standards.  you may not be rewarded in this life, but you will, eventually.  trust.

love,
mom